Elfball+Rules+page+1

=Elfball Rules Page 1=

Existing Rules:
One of the great mysteries of the sport of Elfball is just where it began, and how it got its name. The Night Elves of the vast dark Westerland Forest claim to have been playing the sport since the dawn of time, and that they named it in honour of themselves. The Desert Dog nomads from their arid desert homes dispute this bold claim and insist that the game’s name instead refers to the type of severed head that makes the best ball core. In fact, many races maintain that they are in fact the originators of the game and some of the bloodiest wars in the history of the realms have been fought over this claim. The men of the Middle Kingdoms ignore these squabbles and call the game De Circque instead. Today Elfball is played by every nation, race and tribe of the world. While most prefer the standard distinctive circle field, variations for playing in the inner city or on the sandy beaches that ring the realms exist. However at its core, the distinctive ball and the rules of play are all quite standardized.

Suggested Revisions for Discussion:
There are a couple of examples of bad grammar in the opening paragraph on page 1.

1. Two uses of "in fact" in the same sentence. //** In fact, many races maintain that they are in fact the originators of the game and some of the bloodiest wars in the history of the realms have been fought over this claim**//

2. Two uses of "distinctive" in quick succession.
 * //While most prefer the standard distinctive circle field, variations for playing in the inner city or on the sandy beaches that ring the realms exist. However at its core, the//**
 * // distinctive ball and the rules of play are all quite standardized.//**

Suggested Revised Wording:
One of the great mysteries of the sport of Elfball is just where it began, and how it got its name. The Night Elves of the vast dark Westerland Forest claim to have been playing the sport since the dawn of time, and that they named it in honour of themselves. The Desert Dog nomads from their arid desert homes dispute this bold claim and insist that the game’s name instead refers to the type of severed head that makes the best ball core. In fact, many races maintain that they are the true originators of the game and some of the bloodiest wars in the history of the realms have been fought over this claim. The men of the Middle Kingdoms ignore these squabbles and call the game De Circque instead. Today Elfball is played by every nation, race and tribe of the world. While most prefer the standard distinctive circle field, variations for playing in the inner city or on the sandy beaches that ring the realms exist. However at its core, the unique ball and the rules of play are all quite standardized.